My friend T-nek Backward (if you can guess his real name, keep it to yourself) had already completed the following cathartic rant when I told him about my RSB idea.
I guess you snooze you lose, so here's the...
RED STATE BLUES
Written by: T-Nek Backward
HELPING THE POOR IS TOO TAXING FOR FOLKS HERE YOU SEE
THEY NEED TO HOARD EVERY PENNY, GAS UP THEM S.U.V.'S
CIVILIANS DYING IN IRAQ, BUT THAT’S OK WITH THE FOLKS IN THE PEWS
I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M LIVING HERE, I GOT THE RED STATE BLUES
THE RED STATE BLUES, THE RED STATE BLUES
GOD GET ME OUTTA HERE, I GOT THE RED STATE BLUES
MORAL VALUES IS A TAX BREAK FOR GOOD OL' ENRON
AND OBSCENE DRUG PRICES FOR ALL THE SOCCER MOMS
JUST WAVE THAT FLAG AND WE GET SO DUMB AND CONFUSED
IF THESE ARE FAMILY VALUES, I GOT THE RED STATE BLUES
THEY'RE PROUD AND PRO-LIFE AND THEY'RE PRO-DEATH PENALTY (that makes sense)
LOVE NORMAN ROCKWELL WARS SANITIZED ON FOX T.V.
AND EXPORTING FREEDOM WITH THE JACK-BOOTED HEELS OF THEIR SHOES
EVEN THE FOUNDING FATHERS WOULD HAVE THE RED STATE BLUES